Bucket list

I’ve been thinking a lot lately just about life and how I want to live mine. Years ago I made a “realistic” bucket list. On it were things that I could do in my life time. I have no idea where the list is now so I’m thinking I need to make a new one, so here it is:


-see Kings of Leon in concert (I got tickets for September, I’m stoked!)

-see Britney Spears in concert.

-see Mumford and sons in concert.

-Visit all 50 states. (I’ve been to 27 or 28)

-adopt a baby from Swaziland

-go back to Swaziland

-live in another country and do missions

-become a Photo Journalist.

-go to Russia

-go to Greece.

-send a message in a bottle.

-write a book

-blog about all my adventures (I love blogging)

-write my love story

-have a reunion with the girls I went to Swaziland with.

-have a house with a screened in porch.

-be in a music video

These are just some of not so obvious things I want to do, I do want to get married one day and have a couple dozen (well maybe not dozen) kids of my own. But one day I want to do all of these things. I love adventures and I love telling the stories.

summer has arrived!

My goodness it’s been awhile since the last time I blogged. Oops :)




Well I’m not going to lie a lot has happened in the last two and half months. I am single and mingling (haha) got a new roommate, working more and started a bible study with some of my best friends.

Last week my very best friend moved into my house which was a blessing for all involved. Alaina really needed a place to live that was cheap but close to work and Bianca and I needed a new roommate. So far so good. Prayer for protection over that relationship is much appreciated.

I recently started leading a bible study with three of my best friends; we’re currently studying Genesis and getting down into the start of it. It’s been really cool to see the seeds that I’ve been planting for years growing some fruit. It’s a little intimidating knowing what I say has such a big effect on them and their spiritual growth. So once again prayers are appreciated.

Its summer time which means I will be incredibly busy for the next three months with all kinds of fun stuff…bbqs, pool parties, bonfires, lake trips, camping and so much more! I am so excited but a little be nervous seeing as I’m working full time at one job and part time at another…. Builds character I know.

God is so good and I am truly in awe of Him and His provisions. I get impatient and restless at times but man He is so good. I am so excited to see what He has in store for the community group I am leading with Brandon, I am also so excited to see how He uses me with this new bible study. I can’t get over that He wants to use ME to help these amazing girls. So cool. As summer starts Brandon and I have sat down and tried to wrap our minds around how our community group and friendship has grown. We are both so blessed to be a small part Gods plan for this community group. We love watching everyone grow and come alive in Christ. So far it’s been a ton of girls and a few guys so pray for Brandon and the other guys; they could use some company :)

My dad with the help of our wonderful friend Grant (MR. Grant as Kaleb calls him) built Kaleb a play set in the back yard with a sand box a couple of weeks ago. What a cool blessing for Bianca and Kaleb.

I am truly so excited for this summer and all that God has in store, as always I’m a bit anxious and impatient but the excitement has kind of taken over at this point.

Our house

I feel like its time I talk about my house. About a year ago my parents started thinking about buying fixer-upper and housing single moms in it until they get on their feet, but didn’t really take much action into looking for one. Then this last summer when my friend Bianca and I got close I presented an idea to them. The idea was for them to buy a house and rent it to us. Now in order for this to make more sense I have to tell you about Miss Bianca. Where do I even start? She is easily one of the strongest women I know. She is one of the most wonderful mothers I know and she is the best friend a girl could ask for. She has a 3 year old son named Kaleb who I have fallen in love with; he calls me Grandma wall-e. Bianca got pregnant while in High school and made the life altering decision to not only carry the pregnancy to full term but to keep and raise the baby. Her morals, family’s support and love and God have been her foundation throughout the years. She put her self through medical assisting school and found herself a great job at a dermatologist’s office. She managed to do all of this with some help from her sons father but he hasn’t always been the most supportive( I’m trying to be nice seeing as it’s the Christ like thing to do but I wouldn’t mind giving him a piece of my mind….I mean telling him how much Jesus loves him). Her family is definitely the most supportive family I have ever met, and the most loving. They not only have loved and supported her through it all but also made some though choices like making her be finically independent, which if you ask me is the most loving thing they could have done and still wouldn’t let her sons father sleep in the same bed as her. I could go on and on about how wonderful she and her family are…..


Now back to the house…so I presented the idea to my parents and then the next night had Bianca over so they could meet her and fall in love with her as well. And that’s exactly what happened. That very week they went out looking at houses. And looked and looked for months. We thought it would never happen. Turns out God had the perfect plan for us and a house. In September Bianca went to court over custody over Kaleb, it was messy, stressful and very expensive and we were still looking for a house and everything was falling through. Then in December my parents found the perfect house, put I bid on it and finally everything was coming together. They signed the papers on January 14th, that afternoon my father started renovations. We moved in March 12th. The house has 4 bedrooms, 2 and half baths and a huge backyard. Looking back to this fall it is so obvious that God had His hands in it all, if we had gotten a house when we first started looking Bianca wouldn’t have been able to afford it. God is so cool, His timing and provision really are perfect. Plus this house is so much better then all the others we were looking at. We are so blessed. I am truly in awe of how God loves and provides. While moving in one of our incredible friends gave us his flat screen TV, after helping we move all day. Yet again God provided for us. Moving day was pretty awesome in itself, we had more then enough help, we have some pretty amazing friends. All day the verse I had a verse that kept popping in my head it was Jeremiah 29:11. This also happens to be one of my very favorite verses and couldn’t ring more true, especially on that day.



I will post both before and after pictures soon (we haven’t finished decorating so a lot of the walls look rather bare, and soon Kaleb will have his very own playset.).

Rando

Today was my Dads last day at the assisted living facility where we work togther and as I watched him clock out and walk out for the last time I couldn’t help but start to reflect on the man I call Dad.  My father Randy is not only physically strong but mentally as well. I absolutely love how he treats my mother. He buys flowers on all the correct dates and for no reason. He loves her without fail all day everyday. He calls to tell her how is day was even if he knows he is going to see her in a few short hours. He buys her all things she needs and wants and more. He takes time out of his busy and stressful days to make sure she knows how much he not only loves but adore her. My father also provides in fun and important ways for me. He has set the standards high for my future husband. My father takes me to lunch on my days off and will sit and talk with me for hours. When we worked together he would go and buy me lunch without any hints from me.  When I was a kid he would take me on father daughter dates to Rockies games, movies, dinner and other places.  And after school every once in while he would take my brother and I to get ice cream. Back in January he bought a house here in Lafayette, put a good chunk of money into remodeling it so that two of my friends and I could live in and rent it from him.  He volunteers every Sunday at church. He is involved in many incredible organizations. He protects me from things I need to be protected from. He has instilled the morals I have, he taught me how to shoot a gun. And even bought me pink gun for my 21^st birthday.  He scares off potential boyfriends. He fills up my gas tank because he knows I forget often. He washes my car when its been months since he last had because I pay no attention to how dirty my car gets.  He loves Jesus and isn’t ashamed to tell you. My daddy is incredible. I am so blessed to be his daughter and to have him love me enough to punish me when I’m wrong and support me through it all. I was even more blessed to have worked with him for three years and so sad to no longer have that privilege.  I love you Rando.

a few pictures from this past summer and fall and a little bit of winter.

first few moments in Disney world with Justin (and Nicole)

First ride at Disney world (for my birthday) with Nicole, snow white

 my Halloween costume, i was snookis Grandma with scooter in all :)

 Nicole and I rocking our awesome outlaws sunglasses

 my best friend Alaina and i

 my newest tattoo, its hebrew for my delight is in her. its from Isaiah 62:4.

me and some of my amazing friends :)

 my friend Jamina and i

 some pretty great girls from church :)

our new years eve bash in Atlanta before Passion

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know this is a little late but hey better late then never?


I wanted to reflect on this past year, on the good and the hard. Let’s see here, where do I even start? Last year (2010) had a bit of a rough start. I was having such a hard time with reverse culture shock and processing my three months in Africa. I didn’t want to be home and couldn’t find an outlet to plug into. I kissed a frog or two. Met the most amazing women and men, who I now call family. Became a grandma (yes a grandma, I bet my beautiful friend Bianca and her little boy who now calls me grandma wall-e). Started a new job, went back to an old one. Fell back in love with my old job. Cried, too much. Laughed more then I ever have before. Smiled more then before. Struggled with God, took some steps back and then more forward. Went to Disney world! Moved 9 times. Went on a road trip to New York that kind of changed my life in big way. Saw Niagara Falls. Went to my first casino and lost $5. Started healing and trusting God fully. Rediscovered what I really wanted in life and that “good enough” isn’t actually good enough. Successfully surprised my Grandma with updated pictures of us grandkids. Saw one of my best friends marry one of the most amazing men I know. Got another tattoo, yes that makes 5. Felt what forgiveness feels like, while meeting the wonderful blessing Ella. Broke my tailbone. Started this blog. Felt guilt for the first time in a long time. Lost my wonderful great-grandfather. Lost my favorite resident George after 103 incredible and long years. Felt fear and leaned on God to get me through it .This year was hard but I wouldn’t change a second of it for the world because I got all that I could have asked for this past year. Jesus is sovereign and has given me more then enough. I am His and that’s more then I’ll ever need.

When I think about what I want in this year (2011) I simply hope and pray to glorify Him in all that I do. I pray that I may shine so brightly that all see and feel Christ’s love in me.



“for I know the plans I have for you. Declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future”. Jeremiah 29:11

“delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” Psalms 37:4

“for God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power and of love….” 2nd Timothy 1:7

Mountain top high....

Last weekend I went on my church’s college age retreat to Estes Park. And to be honest I didn’t want to go for many reasons one being that I just didn’t want to spend the money or time. But after being asked by the pastor if I was going the guilt set in. so I registered and paid and after my father told me to shut up and go I went. I drove up with two of the girls in my community group, which was such blast. I was in a room with 4 other girls, two of which I already knew. When the first session started I knew I was supposed to be there. The theme of the retreat was everything, based off of Romans 8:28-32. After the first session we met in “family” groups of 6 people, I was a “family” lead. My family group was awesome; it was so obvious that Gods hand was in on picking us. 3 of us were raised by fathers who were police officers. Almost immediately we all opened up and dove right into things. The first night was so much fun, talking, laughing and bonding. On Saturday we had 2 sessions, the first one was 2 hours to have alone time with God. And at first I wasn’t feeling it, but then out of no where God asked me “why are you so afraid of marriage?” so I journaled about it for a couple of pages before I had to stop and pray. I started to realize it was because I wasn’t willing to give God my future, because I wasn’t giving my past either. Then it was time for family discussions so we all talked about what our time with God was like, which was great being able to hear how the others in my family group did with their time.  Then lunch and the 3 session began and then finally free time. So I rested and hung out with some of my girlfriends. Later that night we had our fourth session, I was stoked because so far it was all going so well. Little did I know. The worship was amazing I really felt Gods presence. I was stoked for the talk. And so the talk began….it was like Jordan was talking to me. The talk was about giving God what you are holding on to. He gave us note cards and pens to write down what it was that we weren’t allowing God to have. I lost it, as the tears streamed down my face I realized I HAD to give God my future and my past because HE gave me everything, so in order to be obidient I had to give it to him. I sat for a minute after I had written on my card and prayed. I asked God to take this from me, to give me peace and I told Him I was done holding on to my future and my past, I was finally ready to let go and let Him take control of everything in my life. What I thought would be so simple was impossible, my fear of making the wrong choice, rushing things and not being good enough or too much was all I had left. It was the one thing I could “control”. I’m not saying now that I gave God my future all is well, no it’s not at all like that. I am still struggling with the fact that I am terrified of making the wrong choice and rushing things and not being good enough or too much, but I do have peace of mind knowing that God is the one in control and that He really does know best, and best of all that I am being obedient. I know that obedience isn’t the easiest of choices but I know it’s the right choice. This weekend not only opened my eyes and heart to what God desires for me but also confirmed what I was starting to believe and that’s I am supposed to be here in Colorado and that I need to just be still and wait for Gods call to go back to Africa weather that’s Swaziland or somewhere else, because He is in control of my future and He wants to use my past for His glory.