well it looks like my insane schedule has caught up to me. i have shingles. yesterday after two days of itching i caved and went to the doctor, and just what i feared the stress of my crazy life had caught up and my body is shutting down. i feel like its Gods way of forcing me to slow down seeing as i have to take the next few days off from work. which blows, but i do need to rest and catch up on laundry, cleaning and well life. even though i supposed to take it easy i'm pretty sure not dealing with crazy old people and chasing kids is relaxing. so i'm stuck at home bored out of my mind......
seriously i am so bored and its only half of the first day. these stupid shingles itch but they hurt, its dumb. i have a bad attitude about it all to be honest. i'm not bummed that i'm feel like crap because to be honest i dont feel that awful but i'm contagious and i need to relax...its like mission impossible up in here. i'm a martha ( from the bible, the story of mary and martha.) i dont sit idol well or at all to be honest. i like to keep moving, yes i do love lazy days but i'd rather go do something productive or at least fun! some days i dont want to go to work but its usually because i'd rather do something else productive or fun.
i know i'm some how supposed to learn some listen from this and i know i will...at some point. but right now all i feel is bored and a little grumpy. i need an attitude change.
just about every time i get sick its when i'm running the show. this time is no different. for the past couple of weeks i have been trying to do this on my own. with everything going well with my mom and stuff going so badly for Sasha i did what i tend to do.....tried it on my own. i stopped pursuing Gods will for my life. i haven't turned away from Him but i just stopped going to Him first. so like always i'm left with no other choice but to turn to Him. i am a proud woman and admitting that i can't do this on my own is the hardest. i need to take these next few days of doing nothing and make them about focusing on Him and His will. i'm going to dive deeper into His word and refocus my life. i'm worn out and shingles is just a small hint of whats really going on and what could happen.
