Becoming mom....

I am now a parent, a mom, well legally at least. Levi is 15 so calling me mom isn't exactly going to come naturally or ever. Plus if you do the math that makes me 10 almost 11 years older than him so even if he wanted to call me mom it would be a little awkward for others to hear.

If I were to say things have been easy or smooth every parent would know I was lying. Weather your child is an infant or out of the house you know how hard it is to be parent. So for those of you who do not have children allow me to give you some insight as to what life is like with kids or at least a teenager....

Long gone are the days of quiet....seriously he makes so much more noise than I ever thought. Not that I ever thought our house was ever that quiet but now looking back it was so peaceful and quiet. Because Levi still doesn't know very many people or the area very well he stays home A LOT which only makes our tiny house feel smaller and Levi seem louder.

I all too often here the following: "I'm hungry", "I need help with my homework" "I don't want to do my homework" "My stomach hurts" " I need_____" "Get me some chips" "Get me____" "Stop it Mollie" "Gah you're so annoying" "I don't like you" "you can't tell me what to do" "You don't know" "Shut up" "Go away" "Leave me alone" "Back off me" "Call Stefan". Just to name a few...

And all too often I find myself saying "Levi stop" "I am serious" "Wait until Stefan comes home" "If you don't want me to talk about your balls then don't talk about them around me" "GROSS!!" "NO, I said stop" "Oh my gosh" 'Turn that down" "Chew with your mouth closed" "I don't care what you think or want to do" "I do love you"

Many nights after a long dinner, discussion about his attitude and homework I end up wide awake worrying. Worrying about his grades, his friends or lack there of, his attitude, how the next four years are going to turn out, how we are going to ever add a baby into the mix (NOT that I am pregnant or wanting to be right now), worrying about finances and wanting to call my own parents to apologize for the awful teenage years of my own life. Shoot even calling my teachers from high school to apologize.

I truly love Levi, I love his personality, his sweet heart, his loyalty and his goals in life. He drives me crazier than anyone else which is saying a lot seeing as I have a husband who does the same ha! But when he sits on the couch with me to tell me about his day at school with such excitement and urgency in his voice my heart breaks. It breaks for the little boy who didn't have a "normal" childhood, who has to be the man of the house his entire life, the little boy who was never a little boy. But my heart also melts, I love those moments they make me feel like maybe just maybe we are doing something right.

I have always been aware of what a privileged and wonderful childhood I had but since Levi came into my life back in 2012 I have become painfully aware of how protected and privileged I am. And just how important this time in his life is. Stefan and I have been trusted by God to make sure Levi graduates, is exposed to a healthy and happy family and most importantly His love. So we go to church as family every weekend, we eat dinner together as often as we can, we go to family stuff as often as we can and we have family movie nights tons.

There are far more hard nights than easy ones but I wouldn't change a things because I know God has a plan for this all and I know these hard nights will not only build Levi into the man God is going to use in big ways but they will also strengthen my marriage and faith. As I sit and reflect on the past five years I fall to my knees in awe of what God has brought me through and done with my life. Five years ago I was in Africa trying to figure out what God wanted from me and my life. What it means to follow Him and who I am in Him. If I had only known a tiny glimpse of what was to come......I can't wait to look back five years from now in awe of what God has done with Levi and his life. But in the same thought I want to focus on the here and now with Levi. I want to enjoy him and the season of life we are in.

So here I am on my knees asking God to get me through each day and asking Him to remind me to live here and now. Enjoying each baby step we take with Levi, each smile, hug and I love you.

A little life update that is over due.

             The past six months have been insane, as most of you have heard I have had some strange health issues that have caused me to slow down tons.  Back in March or February I started having some persistent nausea and stomach pain.  After about a week of trying to ignore it I finally gave in and went to urgent care one night.  5 months later, after countless trips to urgent care and the ER, after many days stuck at home unable to eat or drink, after countless appointments with “specialists,” we finally have an answer. I have Gastroparesis, which means my stomach isn’t emptying quickly or at all sometimes.

A normal or healthy stomach empties 10% of food or more within 90 minutes but my stomach empties less than 10% of food in 100 minutes causing a sharp stabbing pain and extreme nausea. The medications have awful side effects so I am not on them but I am instead on a very restricted diet.  I have to watch my dairy, fat (good or bad) and fiber intake.  I have been on the diet for about a month now and I am definitely feeling better.  I have more good days than bad days and my bad days are half of what they used to be. I am so thankful to finally be on the mend.

In the last couple of months a lot more than my health has happened.  I have also switched age groups at the Church, and I am now working with the elementary team.  I love it, the kids are hilarious, the leaders are awesome and the team is really fun.  The Kids area also had to go through some expansion and changes due to the high numbers of kids in each room on the weekends.  I was in transition to the elementary team when that all happened so I got to start in a new room just like all the kids and leaders which made my transition much smoother.  

My favorite part of working with elementary age kids is that they understand so much more of the lesson and want to talk about it more.  It is so fun to see hundreds of kids hear the good news that God loves them and has a plan for their lives.  And the kids will remember the leaders and how they felt more often.  Just like I did growing up, I often find myself thinking about all the awesome Sunday school teachers I had growing up and their impact on my life still. Pretty cool to think that one day some kid will look back and say I am who I am because in 3^rd grade my teacher told me God has a plan for me and I am valued in Gods eyes.

As my internship draws to an end I can’t help but be so very thankful for the past eleven months.  God has been so faithful this year.  I have learned so much about myself and about Kids ministry.  Stefan and I are so thankful for God’s timing with my health as well.  If this had happened a year or two earlier I would have been in deep water with work and financially.  Flatirons has been so understanding with me and incredibly supportive in my road to recovery and to get answers.  They have given me more than enough time for doctor’s appointments and time to heal.  This place has been such a blessing to us.  I have learned so much more about ministry, about my calling and about myself.  This year has taught me even more about my need to be dependent on God.  I could not have gotten through any of this without Him.

The BIG question most of you want to know is what’s next!  Well I am taking a part time job in the fall as a nanny.  I am so excited because we are adopting and it allows me to be home when I need to be and pays great.  Yes you read that right, we are adopting.  His name is Levi, he is 15 years old and a joy to be around.  Stefan did Big brothers Big Sisters for years and Levi was his “little brother”.  Stefan was matched with Levi five years ago and has been a great male figure and role model in his life.  Before we got married we had briefly talked about helping Levi out down the road with high school and after high school but our so called plans we expedited when Levi got into some trouble a few months ago. 

Levi is a good kid, he wants to become a Navy Seal one day and is very motivated to do so but he also lives in a rough neighborhood and has no father figure in his life.  He is currently living with his Grandma who was given custody of him and his two younger sisters when his mom went to prison 10 years ago.  His Grandma works at a hospital and just isn’t able to be there as much as they need her to be.

So we are going in front of a judge on July 16^th to start the legal process of adopting him.  We are so excited and so is Levi.  I know this is God’s plan because He has quite obviously opened each and every door for us.  At times I am anxious but the peace I have overpowers the anxiety.  So as you can see the nanny job is totally part of God’s plan as well.  I will be home around 3pm three days a week and will leave when Levi needs to be up so Stefan can take him to school.  We will be getting Levi involved with sports as well to make sure he keeps his grades up and stays out of trouble.

Stefan and I were also finally able to go on our Honeymoon! We went to Puerto Vallarta Mexico on June 17^th, just two days after our first anniversary.  We were also able to attend Stefan’s friend’s wedding while we were there.  It was such perfect timing, perfect weather, and a perfect trip.  We both loved the time together away and the wedding.  A fair amount of our friends were there as well so it made for a very fun trip, there wasn’t a dull moment. We are so thankful for all the gifts we got on our honeymoon registry because without it we wouldn’t have been able to go.  We are looking forward to one day going back. 

Although I am sad to be finishing my time here at Flatirons on staff I am very excited to be able to have a schedule that will fit perfectly with Levi, plus Stefan is still working here and we will continue to attend the services here. I will also be continuing to volunteer with the kids ministry on the weekends.  

I am so thankful for your support whether it was financial, or through prayer.  I am also thankful for all the encouragement I was given through this opportunity.  I wouldn’t trade this past year for anything.  I truly loved every aspect of my internship.  I am looking forward to what God has planned for us this fall. Thank you again for all you have given, I couldn’t have done it without you.

Please continue to pray for us as we embark on this adoption journey with Levi. And for Stefan’s wonderful job with the college ministry.   We appreciate all the support and prayers!

 

I was like "WOW"

Man life has been pretty great but oh so busy.

One of my very best friends got engaged!! Miss Erica and I met in 4th grade at Sunday school. We have seen it all together, break ups with crappy boy friends, graduations, learning to drive, big moves and now WEDDINGS!!! It is so fun. I truly couldn't be more excited for her, especially since she is marrying one of my good friends. I love that they were friends first and have such a strong foundation in Christ and in their friendship. Plus his twin brother and parents are pretty great :)

I also become an aunt for the first time!!! (Well biological aunt for the first time)

Randall Lee Owens III or Trey as we call him, was born on January 10th in the early morning hours. We are all so in love. He also seems to take after his "Grumpa Rando" and name sake quite a bit.

I moved ages again at work, I am now working in the Early Childhood department (birth-31 months).
Early childhood has been lots of fun on the weekends, most of the time I am literally holding babies! I have worked in the toddler rooms as well which is so much fun, I love their little personalities and voices. They are still little enough they want to be held but can talk and tell you all kinds of interesting and funny stories. But there is nothing like rocking a four week old baby for an hour. During the week I do a TON of laundry from the rooms, fill bubble machines and clean rooms to prepare for the weekend. At times I feel like I am doing more busy work with the age (which I am) than I was with preschool. I loved working in the preschool rooms, and miss teaching now. When we started this internship I had a feeling I would enjoy preschool the most and so far that is proving to be correct, not that I don't enjoy early childhood because I do. I just prefer to teach and the ages of preschool. I love seeing how these little ones get to hear about Jesus at such a young age, its so fun to hear them repeat back the bible stories. I have to remind myself often in the midst of the chaos of the weekend services that not only are we getting the honor of planting seeds of who Jesus is we also get to serve these parents. It is so humbling to know I am such a small part of Gods plan. Brings me to my knees.

Stefan started working again at the church and is loving it. So am I, our schedules are more in sync and we actually get to spend time together. In April the college team will be taking 50 students to LA to do some work with one of the organizations Flatirons Church partners with to fight sex trafficking. Stefan is so excited to see how God moves while they are there and how He moves in the students lives. He has a pretty cool job if you ask me.

In June we will finally be taking our Honeymoon which most people know was gifted to us by our friends and family. We are more than excited to finally get some much needed R'n'R! And to get away for a few days. We are also going to be there for a good friends wedding, which will be tons of fun, we feel so honored to be able to be there for their big day.

As the internship is flying by I have to stop and remind my self to slow down and enjoy this time. And to take advantage of every opportunity I get here. This year is about learning, growing and doing. I am loving this job and learning so much but I just need to slow down sometimes and seek God in everything.